Well, I've changed!
Has a nice self-righteous ring, doesn't it?
And that's an issue for me. I don't want to be self-righteous any more, because I've realized it's a mask for the fear I'm not as good as other people or I'm afraid I'll fall back into an old pattern or situation with somebody who abused or betrayed me. That I'll become a victim again--and I don't want that.
So have I really changed? Or have I just exchanged one undesirable behavior (being a victim) for another (being self-righteous). And at the same time I've reinforced my belief that people don't really change. An abuser is always an abuser. If a person betrays you once, they'll do it again.
So if a person can't change past experiences or behaviors, can they evolve beyond them?
Aha! That opened up possibilities for me. Traumatic experiences of the past have taught me some deep lessons, and brought gifts in communicating with animals and helping them release their own traumatic experiences.
Of course, animals are great teachers, and as I watched them release ugly experiences and move on with joy, I wanted to do that also.
I wanted to be different!
However, rather than change and erase traumatic experiences that also brought great learning, I realized I needed to evolve. If I embraced those lessons and avoided similar situations in the future, I didn't need to fear experiencing that ugliness again, so I also freed myself from fear.
So can people change--or is it better to evolve?
